You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
