Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
