Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
