I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i've created a new STD.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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