I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
