covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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