He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
