just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
