I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
