Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
