Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
