Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My pussy is not your playground.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
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