For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
