just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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