me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
