How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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