my soul wont recognize me after tonight
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
