Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
