yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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