I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
