I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
