no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize