No subtext here. People are naked.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
