Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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