i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
