just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
we're so committed to being not committed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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