You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
