i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I will pee on everything he values.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
