so let's talk penis.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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