It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
