DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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