By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
