That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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