I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
