Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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