life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am spending my child support on dildos
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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