Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
and eventually we just all took our pants off
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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