I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
