We're like a lot better than the average bears
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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