I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
