We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
