soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
