This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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