I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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