So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He better not be in your backpack
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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