so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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