the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
