whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
