I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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