what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
