don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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